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当前位置:首页  >  学术资源  >  写作技巧  >  期刊退稿说论文太冗长,资深编辑告诉你该怎么改  
期刊退稿说论文太冗长,资深编辑告诉你该怎么改
作者:ISE    来源:   时间:2021-04-02   访问量: 1238  

长篇大论不仅让人阅读困难,也很容易偏离原本意思。在这篇博客中,ISE 资深编辑Lisa Clancy将例举几处经由国际科学编辑ISE润色的文章来讨论如何减少科学论文中的用词累赘。

寻找同义词

原文 : People use social media to share their views, thoughts, and opinions.

改后:People use social media to share their views.

Views, thoughts 和 opinions都是同义词。你可以去掉这两个词,却不影响阅读理解。

原文: In the future, corresponding regions of the fear circuit observed in this study could serve as a basis for further study.

改后: Corresponding regions of the fear circuit observed in this study could serve as a basis for further study.

In the future 和 further study 是同义词,所以前者可以在不影响阅读理解的情况下被删除。

寻找累赘词

原文 : The corrosion properties were investigated at the 2 h and 6 h time points.

改后: The corrosion properties were investigated at 2 h and 6 h.

累赘就是用不同的词重复相同的意思。在上面的例子中,我们知道2h和6h就是time points,因此可以在不影响理解的情况下去掉这一项。

原文: R2 values ranged from 0.52 to 0.79, thus suggesting that the OEE scale was reliable.

改后: R2 values ranged from 0.52 to 0.79, suggesting that the OEE scale was reliable.

Thus 在这里是多余的。虽然只有一个词被删除了,但是整个文章的小改动加起来就会提高整体的写作水平。

原文 : Sea surface temperatures were highest in these months of the year.

改后: Sea surface temperatures were highest in these months.

Of the year 多余,可以在不影响理解的的情况下被移除。

寻找不必要的修饰语

原文: The vocal repertoires of the individuals belonging to the two subspecies were rather similar.

改后: The vocal repertoires of the individuals belonging to the two subspecies were similar.

rather similar与similar之间没有区别;因此rather是不必要的,可以删除。

寻找不必要的虚词

原文: There are many studies that have shown an association between 25-hydroxyvitamin D serum level and blood pressure.

改后: Many studies have shown an association between 25-hydroxyvitamin D serum level and blood pressure.

There are 在这个例子中被称为语法上的强调补充词。它用来强调句子的主语。有时被认为是“虚词”,应该谨慎使用。

寻找重复词

原文: The cumulative release rates of β-EF-Bar and β-EF-Bar-Lip were 8% and 7.4% at 1 h, the cumulative release rates were 7.8% and 5.9% at 6 h, and the cumulative release rates were 67% and 51.4% at 192 h, respectively.

改后: The cumulative release rates of β-EF-Bar and β-EF-Bar-Lip were 8% and 7.4% at 1 h, 7.8% and 5.9% at 6 h, and 67% and 51.4% at 192 h, respectively.

在本例中,Cumulative release rates 被不必要地重复多次。

原文: The antioxidant effect of the drug is evident from the significant effect of the drug on lipid peroxidation activities.

改后: The antioxidant effect of the drug is evident from its significant effect on lipid peroxidation activities.

通常,对于简单的句子,名词或名词短语可以用代词代替。在这个例子中,名词drug可以用代词its代替,而不会影响理解。、

原文: Vibrio harveyi has been extensively studied over the past 10 years. From these studies, several virulence factors have been identified in V. harveyi.

改后: Extensive studies of Vibrio harveyi over the past 10 years have identified several virulence factors.

Vibrio harveyi 可以通过组合句来避免重复。

原文: In this study, we compared the virulence of the most common serovars of Pseudomonas aeruginosa in China in BALB/c mice and piglets. Intraperitoneal injection was used to compare P. aeruginosa virulence in BALB/c mice and piglets.

改后: In this study, we compared the virulence of the most common serovars of Pseudomonas aeruginosa in China in BALB/c mice and piglets using intraperitoneal injection.

Pseudomonas aeruginosa 和 BALB/c mice and piglets 可以通过组合句来避免重复。

原文: Scholars suspect that bqsA plays an significant role in inhibiting virulence in pathogenic Vibrio and have conducted some studies to explore the function of the bqsA gene.

改后: Various studies have explored the function of bqsA, which is suspected to play a significant role in inhibiting the virulence of pathogenic Vibrio.

可以通过重组句式来避免bqsA 的重复使用。

原文 : We measured serum IL- 33 levels by ELIZA assay.

改后: We measured serum IL- 33 levels by ELIZA.

ELIZA是enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay的缩写,即assay已经是全称中的一部分,不用重复。

尽可能使用主动语态

原文 : The migration of HCC cells was shown to be inhibited by GA.

改后: GA inhibited the migration of HCC cells.

主动语态通常比被动语态更简洁。请参阅我们之前的博客“科学论文中的主被动语态”,了解更多关于这个话题的信息。

避免迂回的表达

原文 : To find out more particular knowledge of the effects of FGF21 …

改后: To better understand the effects of FGF21 …

To find out more particular knowledge是to better understand的一种更迂回的说法。

原文: We measured the effects of FLP on apple juice yield and flavour, the results of which are presented in Figure 1.

改后: We measured the effects of FLP on apple juice yield and flavour (Figure 1).

(Figure 1)与the results of which are presented in Figure 1一样清晰,但更简洁。

原文: It has been reported that certain pri-miRNAs are highly expressed in human embryonic stem cells.

改后: Certain pri-miRNAs are highly expressed in human embryonic stem cells.

It has been reported that 不必要地拖延了陈述的要点。用主动语态更直接。

寻找伪装成名词的动词

原文 : Tissue examination was done by light microscopy.

改后: Tissues were examined by light microscopy.

在原句子中,动词“to examine”用作名词,即“examination”。当作者这样做时,必须加上弱动词,如was done。

原文 : An increase in the level of amyloid peptides was observed.

改后: The level of amyloid peptides increased.

Using increase/decrease as nouns, i.e., an increase/a decrease, often increases wordiness.

increase/decrease用作名词,例如an increase/a decrease,通常会增加单词的冗余度。

 
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